Who needs a Coach?

Life has many cross-roads. Yet there are particular junctures, where much more is at stake:

• at the end of high school, when a person is moving into legal adulthood, and, with that, thinking about the future…whether to continue with school and, if so, whether to go to a technical, job-related study, or into a more academic institution. Sometimes at this age, a person is also in a serious relationship, vying for time and commitment.
• at the end of college (for those that did not take the technical school route), looking through workforce options, thinking now about debt repayment and, at the same time, getting established in a mortgage and family.
• when the nest empties…leaving the couple to live through the next phase, sometimes feeling quite isolated or lost.

Beyond those normal life-phase transitions, we face crises that require changes:

• the loss of a job
• a major accident
• natural disasters
• periods of great recession.

It is common at such a time to ask serious questions, and to ponder serious changes. Yet often these questions do not lead up and out,  but rather, inward and down.  A good coach can make a huge difference!

Coaching brings out the best in person, assisting to move them out of a dark or gray existence, into brightness and color. It helps them discover their hidden gifts and resources, so that they themselves become a gift in their relationships. It enables them to move  from stalemate to passionate and purposive action.

Lasting change

I believe that tranformation is the result of a holistic confrontation. In order for change to last,  it must be processed by, and in turn impact the whole person–his thoughts, feelings, behavior and personal identity.  If it does not, one of these areas will sabotage long term results. One of the areas little emphasized in coaching is the influence and strength of emotions. While not working directly with emotions (understanding the history of a person’s fear, guilt or shame), coaching, through its emphasis on the  congnitive-behavioral dimension of change,  acknowledgement and challenging of feelings that arise, does in fact deal with the whole person. Coaching is not a  “Just do it..” approach.  It is, in fact, action-oriented. When, however, a person changes his behavior,  his new behaviors will actually impact his perspective and better his quality of life, often leading to a new  level of satisfaction.  Good coaching is right there to help recognize accomplishments, and to harness and leverage the energy that the positive realization generates. Based on a person’s success, coaching will assist to route out old apprehensions,  fears of failure, and hestitancy at continued change.  It will celebrate and encourage additional steps, actions and habits promoting an ever growing outward spiral of courage and transformation. Thus, coaching does not dwell on the negative and darkside, while at the same time allowing it to come to the light, where it naturally dissipates. In effect, coaching, through this positive approach, impacts not only a person’s thinking and behaviors, but also his self-perception and feelings. Thus coaching impacts the whole person. And when the whole person is touched, changes last!

On the right trail…

Getting it together

As human beings, we want to be “have-it-altogether-light-and-whole”.  (Mind you, I didn’t say “light in a hole!)  I’m talking about wholeness, completeness, the “put-together-with-a purpose-and-not-just-drifting” feeling of happiness.  A whole number of things contribute to wholeness. For me, it feels like integration, lightness, purpose, freedom, joy. The big question is, “Sure, but how do I get there?” (You were asking that, weren’t you?)

Wholeness has two dimensions:  present and future.

Likely every human being (though I’ve not done the survey!) imagines a future, utopian place of sheer delight and unencumbered joy, a “home on the range…where the sky is NOT cloudy all day!” And, we could all go on describing it.

That day and place are coming, but most people understand that they are future.

The BIG QUESTION is about today.

Can we live, today, with a sense of lightness, purpose, “put-togetherness”, and joy?

A big question. Certainly no panacea! No quick 1-2-3 “pat” answers or plug-it-in-your-cassette pep talk to psyche you up for another day.

Yes, I believe we can live today, and tomorrow in a live awareness of that wholeness (or “abundance,” if you will)! 

Life is … for the living! (Surprised? )

THE ANSWER?

Life is a process, not a product. Living day-to-day wholeness is a journey, not a destination. You travel light; but you still have to carry your basic gear! And having the right travel companion is certainly better than doing it alone!

Let me suggest a “coaching relationship” as that “right companion.” A coach is a mirror, an encourager, a “reframer”, an option-builder, a possibility-thinker, a friend.  Already have one at home?  Great!  Don’t? Get one, and, better yet, become one! And the gear for the journey?  Well, let’s just say for now, that that burden is pretty light.  But we’ll leave that topic for another time.

Why a coach, in the journey to wholeness?

Coaching empowers a person to leave that basement of tangled dreams, frustrated goals and confused relationships. It equips him to walk solidly, intentionally and confidently toward the realization of his dream. In the environment of  a coaching relationship, a person will find positive reinforcement, possibility thinking,  new light and hope,  open horizons and opportunities, and renewed energy for his journey. 

The right coaching empowers wholeness.

Feeling  a bit stuck?

Get a good coach!